Lose Your Inhibitions - The Why and How of No Inhibitions
Want to lose your inhibitions?
Want to help someone else lose
his or her inhibitions?
Want to understand the background for your
inhibitions?
Want to know why losing your inhibitions is safe?
Want
to know how to lose your inhibitions?
Then this long, in-depth self
help article is for you!
A personal development article with what you need
to know
If you're in a hurry, you can jump directly to the summary and
directions on how to lose your inhibitions
The Origin of Inhibitions
We humans are social animals. We live in pairs and groups. This means that we relate a lot to each other, we help each other, we affect each other, and - most importantly - we model ourselves to try and fit in.
This is the most likely origin of most kinds of inhibitions. We are talking about social dynamics, here - and culture.
In other words, your inhibitions stem from your 'trying to fit in'.
You deliberately limit yourself in an attempt to be accepted and to not be rejected by other people, particularly the people in your own social group(s).
Unfortunately your inhibitions keep you from living your life to the fullest; inhibitions keep you from being yourself, from being the person you really want to be.
Happily, though, it doesn't have to be like that!
Lose Your Inhibitions - the Why and How of No Inhibitions:
You Have Power Over Your Inhibitions
Inhibitions are YOU trying to limit yourself to gain acceptance, etc.This fact is extremely important, because it means that YOU have the power to change your inhibitions - or to lose your inhibitions completely.
Nothing, and I really mean nothing, supersedes your free will in this area.
Lose Your Inhibitions - the Why and How of No Inhibitions:
Inhibitions Are Fear Based
So, our inhibitions are mostly of a social nature.Also, our inhibitions are all about fear.
If you have read other things here on thepersonaldevelopmenguy.com, you will likely have noticed my 'take' on fear:
Fear is the favorite tool of the ego, but fear clouds our judgement, fear makes us stupid, and we really don't need it.
Fear stems from a natural reaction to clear and present danger, but since danger is neither clear nor present in modern life (in most parts of the world), we really do not need it and should consciously decide to let go of it.
So, that's the first reason to lose your inhibitions, right there: Inhibitions are fear based and thus they are not only unnecessary, they also make you more or less ... well, stupid ... in thought, word and deed.
This becomes even more clear when we take a quick look at a few typical kinds of inhibitions we humans may have.
Lose Your Inhibitions - the Why and How of No Inhibitions:
Typical Human Inhibitions
Maybe you are a woman and you have inhibitions regarding your body and your looks, maybe you are a man and have inhibitions regarding feeling and showing emotions. Randomly selected but typical human inhibitions include things like:- being shy
- feeling guilty
- feeling shameful
- having trouble communicating
- having general contact inhibition
- fearing the loss of control
- thinking you need power
- lacking empathy
- lacking the ability to feel your own emotions
- lacking the ability to express your emotions
- feeling inadequate
- having low self confidence
- having low self esteem
- sexual inhibitions
- and, of course, there are many, many more.
You may notice several things about this list. One is that most of the above types of inhibition usually takes the form of a pattern of behavior - a habit.
Lose Your Inhibitions - the Why and How of No Inhibitions:
Inhibitions Are Habits
Soooo ... Can you kick an old habit?Sure you can. Any habit imaginable can be kicked. It is, after all, just a habit. It is merely something you have chosen to do at some point ... and which you now continue to do without thinking.
Noticing your pattern of behavior is the first step on the way to lose your inhibitions.
To overcome your inhibitions you need to be aware of them.
One very good way to do this record them in a personal development journal. You could also seek the help of either the people who know you best (simply ask them what they think your inhibitions are) or a trained professional like a coach, teacher, counsellor, guide or psychologist.
And now, let's just take a quick look at a general example ...
Lose Your Inhibitions - the Why and How of No Inhibitions:
Example: The Girl Next Door
Why does the girl next door have trouble relating in a natural and healthy way to men?Perhaps because she has been taught that she must 'be a good girl', and she has chosen to believe this.
Now, being 'a good girl' is pretty poorly defined, but in general it seems to consist of a lot of things that you must NOT think, feel or do. It is, in other words, negative, and thus it reveals its true origin: 'Being a good girl' is fear based. It is implied that terrible things will happen to you if you do not obey and 'be a good girl'.
In many cases this leads to a pattern of behavior that is unnatural, extremely limiting and very detrimental to the poor girl in question.
For example, she may be filled with shame and about her body and bodily functions, she may be unable to talk about sex, much less ask for what she wants in bed, unable to let go of control and have an orgasm, she may think that only bad girls will have a wonderful and fulfilling sex life, and so if she - despite all odds - happens to enjoy sex she may be riddled with guilt about it.
And those are just examples. In many cases the fear based programming goes even further and deeper than that.
And unless she becomes aware of what is going on she will have hard time doing anything about it. The good news is that if she does become more conscious of her programming she can change it.
Lose Your Inhibitions - the Why and How of No Inhibitions:
Inhibitions Are Based on Conjecture
When you consider your deeper motives for having your inhibitions, you will notice that they are based on conjecture.You inhibit yourself in order to be accepted and in order to not to be rejected by other people. You limit your thoughts, words and actions based on a thought much like this one:
'What will other people think? And how will they react?'
But do you KNOW what other people are thinking? No, you don't. Unless you are a mind reader you do not have that information. You IMAGINE that you do, but really you don't.
You don't KNOW what other people are thinking, and you also do not know how they feel and how they will react.
Your imagination is a powerful tool, but please consider whether it is a good idea to use it to generate fear based scenarios inside your head. Please just remember that if fear is involved, your judgement will be clouded.
Lose Your Inhibitions - the Why and How of No Inhibitions:
Inhibitions Are Based in Beliefs
If you refer to the list of typical inhibitions above (and the above example, too), you will notice that each and every one of the mentioned inhibitions has its root in limiting beliefs. Which points to the fact that ...Almost all inhibitions are based in beliefs.
This makes them pretty powerful, because beliefs are largely non-conscious, but still they exert tremendous power over us. Unless we are very aware and conscious our thoughts, feelings and actions are largely dictated by our beliefs.
Though it can be quite a challenge when it comes to core beliefs, every single belief you have can be changed - or dropped entirely. (In fact, I strongly urge you to start this process as soon as possible, as it will set you free in ways and to an extent that no other thing can!)
Just for the record, this means that you can change - or completely let go of any and all inhibitions you desire.
Lose Your Inhibitions - the Why and How of No Inhibitions:
Hardwired Inhibitions?
Now, some people claim that a few inhibitions (very few) may be cross-cultural (i.e. 'universal') and perhaps even 'hardwired' into us. The inhibition that makes us not kill each other, for example. However, we are quite capable of committing murder, so whether it is hardwired or not is an open question.
Generally speaking, though, the inhibition against killing each other is pretty universal across cultures and also an example of an inhibition that is so useful that it would make sense if it were actually hardwired into us.
But as far as almost all other inhibitions are concerned they are definitely cultural in origin.
The fact that your almost all your inhibitions are cultural 'learning' means that you can un-learn them, if you choose to do so.
Lose Your Inhibitions - the Why and How of No Inhibitions:
Most Inhibitions Are Unnecessary
The fact that most inhibitions are cultural in origin means a) they are not universal across cultures, and b) they are something we have been taught (or, at least: something that we have decided to assimilate into ourselves).Both a) and b) point to the fact that most inhibitions are not really necessary.
You don't need your inhibitions. They are redundant and expendable. Lots of people around the globe (and probably in your own culture, too) live wonderful lives without the inhibitions that you have. So, changing them or dropping them entirely is quite safe, perhaps even a good idea.
Lose Your Inhibitions - the Why and How of No Inhibitions:
Our Inhibitions Are Actually Going 'Out of Date'
With inhibitions being based in social dynamics it is important to remember that social dynamics are just that: dynamic. They evolve and change all the time.To top that off, there are indications that the pace in which the changes are happening is picking up pace - accelerating.
For example, have you tried watching a 'normal' movie (i.e. not a timeless masterpiece) that was made some 10 to 20 years ago? The age is showing. Not only in the special effects, but in everything: the pace, the direction, the language used, the behavior of the characters, the social dynamics, etc. Things are changing - fast.
That which was unacceptable 10 years ago (or even 5 years ago) is now commonplace.
In other words: Our upbringing, including our inhibitions, is becoming 'out of date' - at an ever faster rate.
Lose Your Inhibitions - the Why and How of No Inhibitions:
Inhibitions Can Be Changed - or You Can Shed Your Inhibitions Completely
Where am I going with all this? Well, I am pointing you towards the fact that most of our inhibitions are non-universal, unnecessary, and obsolete. Furthermore they can be changed or dropped entirely.This is true for inhibitions in all areas of life, including any and all kinds. Yes, that includes sexual inhibitions.
Lose Your Inhibitions - the Why and How of No Inhibitions:
Summary: Why It's Okay to Lose Your Inhibtions
By now you have some very important background knowledge that will help you a lot when you set out to lose your inhibitions:- Your inhibitions stem from your trying to fit in and being accepted
- Your inhibitions are your own creation, which means that ...
- You have free will and the power to change or lose your inhibitions
- Inhibitions are fear based, and fear clouds your judgement
- Inhibitions are habits, and habits can be changed
- Inhibitions = conjecture; you don't KNOW other people's thoughts & plans
- Inhibitions are belief based, and beliefs can be changed - or dropped
- Much of our upbringing (incl. our inhibitions) is becoming obsolete
- Almost all inhibitions are non-universal, unnecessary and expendable
- Your inhibitions are cultural 'learning' that can be un-learnt
Lose Your Inhibitions -
the Why and How of No Inhibitions:
How to Lose Your Inhibitions
Alright then. By now you know the most basic facts about inhibitions. So then, what to do? How do you lose your inhibitions - for real?Here's a list of possible ways you can go about it using awareness and consciousness:
- First, decide that you really want to lose your inhibitions. Set a very clear intention.
- You can get far if you raise your general level of consciousness by doing personal development, self improvement and perhaps even checking out inner journeys and spirituality. Inducing consciousness in yourself is a pretty sure fire way to lose your inhibitions, even if you don't specifically work at doing that; even more so if you DO set out to lose your inhibitions - and reading this article is a good start :-)
- Use a personal development journal - or simply make a list of your inhibitions.
- Ask your friends and family what they think your inhibitions are. Jot their comments down.
- Alcohol is basically a poison, but in moderate amounts it makes you temporarily lose your inhibitions. So, to know what to work on, you could use a moderate amount of alcohol in a clinical manner to see what inhibitions go away, compared to your normal state of being. Of course you can also use alcohol to gradually change your habits (see the second point below).
- Fake it till you make it. Try doing the exact same things you would have done under the influence of alcohol - only without the alcohol. Pretend you have been drinking alcohol when really you haven't. Try this a party sometime (where other people have had alcohol, so they won't know the difference in your case), then gradually expand your experience to non-party situations.
- Inhibitions are habits, so use your free will to choose a change in your pattern of behavior. You will need to make the choice of change over and over again. It has been said that 21 days in a row where you do something other than your present habit is the minimum amount of time it takes to break a habit (and if you miss even one day, you need to start the 21 day period over).
- Inhibitions are fear based, so face your fears to overcome them. Perhaps in one fell swoop, perhaps by gradually desensitizing yourself to them. Simply put yourself in the position that you fear. Example: Do you want to lose your inhibitions regarding public speaking? Then join a speaker's club. Or something similar, like an amateur drama group.
- Inhibitions are beliefs, and letting go of beliefs is quite possible. If you like, you can use a technique like my own the Let Go Method to do so.
- Work with a professional (a counsellor, coach, guide in consciousness, psychologist, etc.), having the goal to lose your inhibitions.
So ... go shed inhibitions, lots of them, the sooner the better! I promise you, you will not regret it.
I wish you all the best in your endeavour.
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