Looking for a New Love

• If you're looking for a new love here are 3 steps to follow.
• The steps are presented with a smile ...
• ... & sprinkled with inspirational quotations & motivational phrases.

• This page is an entry in "Soren's Blog: Inspirational Thoughts" - a blog aimed at your personal development & spiritual growth. This blog incorporates inspirational motivational quotes, empowerment theory, random funny facts, motivational phrases, short funny jokes, funny questions that make you think and more!

Looking for a New Love?
Are you between girlfriends or boyfriends right now? Between lovers? Don't have a partner?

If you're looking for a new love I'd like to give you a couple of motivational, inspirational thoughts. I've got lots of them (as is witnessed by the pages Love Tips and Relationship Problem Advice), but in this article I'll just present you with three.

Motivational Thought no. 1 When Looking for a New Love:
Looking for a New Love Means Doing Something New
Notice the word 'new'. New means 'not as usual'. It means that it's a good idea to do something you don't usually do.

Killing off the Old Habits
Yes, you have a routine. We all do. We have lots of habits, and old habits die hard. However, if you're looking for a new love and you haven't yet found him or her, it means that your regular habits, haunts and actions aren't doing what you want them to do. You need to do something new.

Aim high and go skydiving to meet new people. Aim low and go scuba diving to meet new people. Or aim for a new rhythm and join a dance club where they dance tango, samba, hip hop or something else you haven't tried before.

Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters.
~ Nathaniel Emmons ~

First we form habits, then they form us. Conquer your bad habits or they will conquer you.
~ Rob Gilbert ~

You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, 'I release the need for this in my life'.
~ Wayne Dyer ~

Go for What You Love
In fact, why not make that 'new thing' something you would like to try - or even love to try?

I'm sure there's something. Something you've been wanting to try for years; or something you wanted to try years ago but somehow almost forgot about. Think. Think back. Dust off the old dreams and ideas.

Go for the feeling of excitement, and if you can't find that, go for the thing that piques your interest.

If you can't even find that, just ask the people who know you for inspirational thoughts about what new things they think would be great for you. I bet you they've got some ideas.

Being myself includes taking risks with myself, taking risks on new behaviour, trying new ways of 'being myself', so that I can see how it is I want to be.
~ Hugh Prather ~

The 3 Most Important Things
Just remember: Regarding this first love tip only three things really matter: a) that you're doing something new, b) that you're meeting new people and c) that you're enjoying it. There's no reason in the world why looking for a new love shouldn't be joyful and fun.

Put a grain of boldness into everything you do.
~ Baltasar Gracian ~

Feeling daunted, scared at the prospect of looking for a new love by doing new things and meeting new people? Of course you are. We all resent change, we're all worried about not fitting in, we're all afraid of not being good enough, etc. But you can do it. You can:

Feel the fear and do it anyway.
~ Susan Jeffers ~ (inspirational quote, and also the title of her book)

Motivational Thought no. 2 When Looking for a New Love:
Relax and Give
You want to make a good impression, right? So when looking for a new love you pretend a bit (or a lot) and you try to control the situation. You try to make plans and work out strategies.

I'm sorry to say that it doesn't work. Life - which includes other people - cannot be controlled. It's inherently unpredictable.

Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.
~ Allen Saunders ~ (later attributed to John Lennon, Lily Tomlin et al.)

If life wasn't like that, if we could truly control it - and control other people - we'd soon be bored out of our skulls.

What follows are some inspirational thoughts as to why pretending, controlling and strategizing do not work - and what to do instead.

Life is a wonder, a mystery. You can't control it, so just relax and enjoy living it.
~ Soren Lauritzen ~ thePersonalDevelopmentGuy.com

Relax, Don't Pretend We're social animals, so of course we adapt ourselves to each other to some degree. But if you're looking for a new love, that's where it has to end. Do NOT pretend. Do not try to control. Forget about plans and strategies.

Remember, the simple cause and effect:

Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
~ Bible (Galatians) ~

The thing is, you're looking for a new LOVE here, not just someone to bang in a drunken stupor on a Saturday night! :-)

Pretend to be someone or something you're not and those with whom you might have built a great, honest love relationship will instinctively avoid you. What you're left with are those who pretend just like you do.

Don't want that, right? Want love! So ... give love!

Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours.
~ C. S. Lewis ~

Complete possession is proved only by giving. All you are unable to give possesses you.
~ Andre Gide ~

'The Law of Attraction' This approach - which really works - has been called by many names, the most popular new one is 'The Law of Attraction'. In fact it's just a fancy name for the great simplicity and magic of life:

By giving to someone else that which you want for yourself you're proving to life, and more importantly to yourself, that you already have it. If you didn't, you wouldn't be able to give it away, now, would you?

Motivational Thought no. 3 When Looking for a New Love:
Be Yourself in Your Most Loving Version
A famous American professor of medicine used an old Confucius quote for the title of one of his books:

Wherever You Go, There You Are
~ Jon Kabat-Zinn ~

Like many zen sayings this apparently self evident statement has several inherent meanings, one of which is that you always are where you are, so you might as well be present. Another inherent meaning is the fact that whether you want to or not, you're destined to live with yourself for the rest of your life - you can't run from yourself.

Conclusion: Be here now, and just be yourself.

Being Loving Is Simple 'Just be yourself' is an easy piece of advice to give, but in reality most people find it quite hard to follow.

I don't, however, mean 'be just any version of yourself', I mean 'be the most loving version of yourself you can'. This actually makes it easier, not harder.

Love is simple enough - it's all about being who you really are, for you are unconditional love, and so is everybody else. Trouble only arises when we forget that. When we remember it again, and act accordingly, trouble simply dissipates as if it were never there - which in fact it wasn't.
~ Soren Lauritzen ~ thePersonalDevelopmentGuy.com

To carry this piece of advice out in practice, just ask your heart: 'What would unconditional love do in this situation?' Then notice the very first thing that springs to mind. Don't 'overthink' it, just listen to the very first impulse your heart gives you. It takes less than a second.

Find that Loving Feeling If you're in doubt about how to start giving love just think back to one of the times you've been in love.

Yes, I know you're not in love, but looking for a new love, but just remember how what it was like to be in love - how you thought and acted towards your loved one.

That's the kind of thoughts and behaviour towards new people you're looking for here. ALL the new people you meet. It works wonders. Truly.

Never Been in Love? Some people have never been in love, and perhaps you're one of them. No problem. Simply think in terms of love, spaciousness and acceptance - and act accordingly. If you totally accepted these new people, if you had lots of room for them in your heart, if you loved them without reservation ... what would you do, how would you behave? Let the answer be your guideline.

Using a Role Model You might even think about a role model.

Most people know (or have known) a person who is exceptionally open minded, accepting and loving. Perhaps it's one of your grandparents, perhaps it's another family member, or a teacher, a guru, a coach, a famous person or one of your friends.

Consider how this person would have acted and act the same way.

Nothing is so infectious as example.
~ Francois de La Rochefoucauld ~

Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.
~ Albert Schweitzer ~

Maximize your use of role models like this: People you consider great have made great mistakes AND had great success. Learn from both. People you consider small have made different mistakes AND had success in a different way. Learn from both.
~ Soren Lauritzen ~ thePersonalDevelopmentGuy.com

A New Beginning Remember, if you've followed advice no. 1, you're out there meeting new people. This is a new chance for you, because new people don't know the old you. So let the new you be more accepting and loving.

And if it turns out (as well it might) that you like this new version of yourself better than the old one, well, then you can simply make the switch to the new you in your old life as well. Whether you make that switch quickly or more slowly and imperceptibly, is entirely up to you.

In Conclusion
To sum it up ... if you're looking for a new love, three excellent steps might be:

1. Ditch the old habits and do something new so you meet new people. 2. Stop pretending and trying to control - just relax and give love to others. 3. Choose to be the most loving version of yourself that you can.

When you're looking for a new love these three steps are really helpful. They're an important part of finding true love. If you find it a little too daunting to try all of them, why not try just one?